I also didn't know what I was doing, so I let her know it was my first time with another girl and that I was nervous. Let her know how unhappy you are with your weight gain. The only way you're going to build your confidence up again is if you make an effort to improve yourself, and I believe you can do that, so get out there and show yourself that you can do it! If I'm in a relationship where I love the person and I'm completely committed to them, then there's no way in hell I could share them. Since then I have not been as active and thanks to the pain and medication I am on I have gained over 30 pounds. Black Sex Match does not conduct criminal background screening of its members. I would never go to a gay bar, I am too shy.
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As for losing the weight I'm not sure what time of exercise you can do, but see if she's willing to help you and do it together.
I also didn't know what I was doing, so I let her know it was my first time with another girl and that I was nervous. Other data for illustrative purposes only. I am half excited and half scared. Do you not have any girlfriend that you can do that with?